Brace for impact!

Error: you don't have enough INT for that.

Where is my espresso and a free kitten?

It was only a matter of time before they discovered I had terrible music taste.

Suffering is not noble.

Once I met a guy who told my mom to abort me. Seemed nice.

What do you get by being an Atheist (capital A)? An attitude.

Don't turn "acceptance" into a perverse kind of pride protecting your evil behaviors as "authentic"

Good governments make you forget that they own you. (Or that they belong to you.) Democracy is also known as "mob rule."

Doing more in less time so I have more time to do less.

Someone's always better than you.

Google has replaced asking for advice. Lost human connection through teaching. "Just Google it" pisses me off, it's "Figure it out yourself," or "I don't care to explain it to you."

"Piracy isn't cool"
Like I'd buy that, you just made it look cool as fuck.

Ben Shapiro is the "Well, actually" kid.

I feel criminally undervalued. Where's the LinkedIn for bad guys? Oh right, it's just LinkedIn.

What would happen if you injected a sleeping person with adrenaline? I wanna know.

I can turn essayist writing mode on in my head. Where are the big words now?

I am a jealous God. Thou shalt have no anime before me.

Man can rationalize or reason himself into any evil. Knowledge is the poisonous fruit of Eden. Philosophers trip over the silliest questions like "who am I" and "do I exist?"

By making an us there's a them. By being in there's an out. By asking a question, you are lesser. By giving an answer, I make you greater. Knowledge is power, and secrecy is withholding that power. A group that holds a secret holds power over the outsiders. Even if there is no secret. And therefore the secret and the covenant IS the power.

No community - No interdependence - no fake kindness - no real kindness. noone needs anyone in an even, equal society. treat everyone as a vending machine to get what you want.

Nothing -- that's a funny name for infinity. (0 is the symbol for infinity, isn't it?)

The business of words.

Ever wondered what was wrong with you? Now, with the power of psychoanalysis, you can find out for yourself!

Mixing up love and lust. I can fall in love with a toaster.

I actually enjoy saying "Have a Nice Day" to people. I don't know if they actually hear me.

Doesn't matter what' s real or not. What matters is what you believe.

I learned we have 13 moon cycles in a year. 364 days. 28 day months, 4 week months, aligned with menstrual cycles. Yet again, not living in accordance with nature.

I've got a reason. Maybe not a good one, but I've got a reason.

Only you have the power to shut the fuck up.

Elysian elision elicits ellipses eclipsed by logistics of illiterate illness.

It's rude to doubt whether it's route or route. Root and rout never suffer this issue, so I suppose couture is out when 'e' is on the menu.

Keep a snowball in the freezer for good luck.

The lame move in the same mental patterns and circles. Moods will pass, sometimes I just need to eat and I'm moody from low blood sugar.

Everything is energy and vibrations moving slow enough to be perceived and experienced. Your thoughts are energy, aren't they? Ripples from action, waves and vibrations, frequencies, energy, and personal (salvage the word!) vibes.

I've always thought the world is one big brain/computer, and we're each a neuron, connecting and lighting up.

Anything that can break in a system, will. I'd like to add: Complexity is opportunity for corruption. Transparency and responsibility with taxpayer dollars? Are you kidding?

Be ye wise as serpents and innocent as doves. Be an undercover Christian.

If you value your thoughts, keep them.
Conversely, if it's important you'll remember it.

"We create because we are unhappy with the world as it is." Glorious.

Growing up is being able to buy ice cream whenever you want and not wanting to anymore

Using a knife is more like punching than swinging.

As a child I detested immaturity. I imagine forgiveness is more mature. Adults aren't that mature anyways.

I love to speak my mind but hate conflict. Tactlessly.

Kids are morbid. "You can kill someone with anything if you're creative enough."

Blog is a way to have an indirect conversation and something to reflect on.

I loathe minimum requirements. I said what I meant to. My defiance is usually only meeting the minimum.

They say that readers live a thousand lives. Not sure that's great. Living vicariously sucks out your own life. (Abomination from Dune)

Be gregarious!

If you have a weird name, people start off on the back foot around you. Manipulative evil shit.

There is safety in self-effacement.

Childhood memory: dead dove with maggots in its belly behind a building. Can't remember if we buried it. Apparently there's been a lot of death in my life. Fitting for a child of number 4. Makes me think of the Crow; "You grow up the day you know you're going to die."

I associate autism with gemini/infp/genius/rebel action. Specific person I'm thinking of.

I am afraid of talking because I have so many ideas when I try to talk people get tired of them and me -> Communication is botherance -> talk and think to self, don't finish ideas. It's a INTP thing apparently.

Government is based on the illusion of peace and prosperity. As long as there is a government, there is peace. As long as there is peace, government is justified. (Disturbing the peace, keepers of the peace, disillusionment)

If government isn't in control, what is it for?

Nothing by itself makes me happy. A well-balanced life would make me happy. I am anything but well-balanced.

Bliss is like uncrinkling a piece of paper that is my soul.

The most complete kind of control is ideological loyalty. (I'm thinking of Dune)

Fools deal in absolutes.

How much of what is beautiful is tucked away by inconvenience?

There is no difference between an event, a place, a thing, or a person. They are all merely a confluence of factors. (atoms bouncing around)

I am not a burden anyone should bear - Misheard TOOL lyric.

Every descriptor applies in some way to Humanity and to God.

How awful it must be to be a hero. To believe in something, and pursue it at all costs. Explanation: if there wasn't a happy ending for the hero, he or she might be considered an obsessive psychopath.

I'm convinced life is just one of those recurring dreams. This one just won't end.

Fashion - An expression of creativity but also self and selfishness. What is expression? It allows us to recognize similar spirits and those from our tribe. Culture. Who is my tribe?

Just another guy writing his dreams out with sidewalk chalk, admiring the drunken stumbles of his frantic mind.

On the internet, a cute video of a cat is as important as an actual fucking country on fire. Is there any wonder why we don't care?

Where does fairness come from? Society tries to make things more fair when life is inherently unfair. Someone has to lose, someone has to be on top.

Energy, money, systems, be intentional with what systems and wolves you feed. Every dollar is a vote.

Teeth, nail clippings. Human debris.

People are like a bouquet of totally different flowers.

I have a really bad relationship with my body. I see it as something separate from me, the case for my mind. It has needs that I fail to take care of. Call it neglect, but I forget to treat it right and prevent things from falling apart. I don't really mind falling apart because I always have cushions.
Walking and taking some time with yourself to be bored is actually very indulgent... fulfilling I guess. Trails, personally, are less "wow trees are cool" and more "wow, this tree doesn't want shit from me and wont stab me in the back like a nasty greedy human." Relaxin to get away from it all

Heat is a hug from God. Rain is also a gift from God. Life is a gift

"Learn to enjoy every minute of your life"

Dying is the most dramatic thing you can do. Die to prove a point, die to make it interesting, die metaphorically, make someone else die, and so on.

Whenever I get scared of fiction, I remind myself that humans are far more terrifying and threatening. There is no predicting what they will do. They invented evil, and bring it farther every day. Theoretically there can always be more, but we have quite a lot. I'm satisfied with the evils we've already invented. Aren't you?

Busy not getting anywhere

Tragedies have to happen to somebody. If you're stupid the odds are much higher

If you don't like the results change the method.

I wait for happiness.

I love capitalism. I am against Consumerism.

If you work for inflation-dollars by the hour, your life is valued in a depreciating currency. We're in a recession, and it hurts, and it could go to where hundred dollar bills are tissue paper. Just check the national debt.

Carbon Offsets is Christian Indulgences aka paid Sin Forgiveness.

Budgeting just cuts the apple smaller, it doesn't make the apple bigger.

Doing more than we were meant for is the human spirit. Something from nothing.

This page is like an abusive mother writing fortune cookies.

I've got a head for a heart and a heart for a head.

Iron sharpens iron.

Gen Z: first generation raised with Internet and Memes. Don't know why that was astounding to me.

I love that books are organized as Fiction and Non-fiction, with fantasy placed first.

Sometimes a sage, always a fool.

Money can't buy happiness? Fridge brownies is happiness-on-demand.

Secondhand social media is optimal.

All interaction should be voluntary.

We all have the same amount of time. One second, over and over. We are fooled into thinking we have more time. Cherish every moment you have.

You deserve better from yourself.
Noone else can give you what you want.

You have the same 24 hours in a day as everyone else. Why aren't you "succeeding"?

Emotions are like bulls. They are very real, very dangerous, and often unreasonable. Go get 'em, Matador.

I am conflicted because on one hand I am moody and egotistical, and on the other I am trying to tell myself to cut the shit and kill my ego. I am constantly fighting myself. Both parts are equally "me" though. All my stupidity is "me."

My brain hurts me and now it's going to hurt you too :)

If you're a fan of FNAF or Sonic, you're a furry. There's no choice here.

Me, to perfume: "Smells like BITCH!"

A "test your gayness" circus machine.

I am a real human (Much Wow, No Way!) My proof? I'm too retarded to be an android.

Hand to Pan combat

Noone expects -- the Sandvich Inquisition. Also noone expects Russian Weezer.

The true power of the Dragonborn is they never need to sleep once.

Recipe for Tumblr's Prime Bae Material; I like to hurt people, Mulan but a boy, zaddy. (I feel dumber typing this.)

Yippee!

Throw a snowball I command thee.

Do you like women?
mmm I prefer goulash.

I probably shouldn't take drugs. I'm an airhead already. Also, it's really bothering me that these thoughts read like fucking Minecraft tips. Well, life is a lot like minecraft...
...

You ever think, Bach or such would have been the equivalent of a ballroom club banger?

You should keep your bad opinions to yourself.
Are you kidding? What are they for then?

I'm hungry.
Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you, I'm Drunk.

"Honesty without Kindness is BRUTALITY."
Well honey, kindness without honesty is bullshit.

What should I bring?
Just bring yourself.
Man, I hate that guy!

I can't breathe with these lungs. I can't feel in this skin. I'm not safe in my body. (God is coming for me.)

It's still hard to talk to people who are easy to be around. What do I want? I thought it was friends, maybe it's something else. He laughed when I said I needed a method in order to make friends (I don't blame him, I try not to appear broken)

I decided to not feel guilty about being white. That's bullshit. Most people are not slave owners and had nothing to do with it. Blaming/punishing the children is illogical and racist.

"Daily Exercises to Reduce Your Whiteness," by Bitchslayer Judas
"Various Nursery Rhymes (For Adults with Dementia)," also by Bitchslayer Judas
Agent: "Ahem, let me read a sample; 'Poppycock Polyglot, Popping glocks and coke and cock,' you CANNOT put this in a kids book!"
BJ: "Why not, it's funny..."
Coming Soon, "How I Got Dicked Down By 237 Men: A Memoir"

Interlude Track for an album, read in 2D or Murdoc's voice) Ah yes, that was quite nice, orgasmic even. Apologies for the interruption, but our lead singer's currently coked out of his fucking mind. Please enjoy this elevator music instead.

Morose Monday. Turbulent Tuesday. Whomping Wednesday. Theoretical Thursday. Friccassee Friday. Dastardly Saturday. Soothing Sunday.

My vote for most date-able fictional woman would go to Kim Pine from Scott Pilgrim or Tsugumi from Nisekoi. They're criminally undervalued. Collette from Ratatouille would cut your nuts off. And Mai and Zuko, or Astrid and Hiccup, have the holy fictional relationships. IDK, this belongs in the shit bucket man.

"Was this what you meant by 'blue-haired liberal?'" *Ramona Flowers*

You can escape destiny, but you can't escape yourself.

I'm not sleeping, I'm practicing being dead. In fact, I've gotten quite good at it. I really hope to be a professional dead person.

GladOS="Do you want to do some SCIENCE?" FROZEN cover.
Or maybe bake a caaaaake
we can get your companion cube
and neurotoxin
THAT WAS A JOKE HA HA HA HA HA

We don't think like they do
Don't play with straight lines, they don't fit you.

Waffle House is the modern-day diner, and McDonalds is the foreign version of an American Breakfast. Now I know how the foreigners feel about misrepresentation in cuisine.

Yeah, I multiclassed into Redneck/Goth

A dub is a dub is a dub is a dub is a dub is a dub. Come on man, for the squad? For the SQUAD?!

I am a nuclear reactor with ZERO WATER.

Do you think the fae can dance like michael jackson? But like, mixed with an Irish jig? Can they... crip walk?

The gravemind has absorbed every hentai and r34 artist. Truly terrifying. Well actually that's just AI isn't it?

"Who would rather go to a funeral than have sex?" I say, while eating a fundraiser chicken mcnugget meal in a gray mall somewhere in the flooded bayou. I am also a magnificent gothic tall lady who rode a funereal boat here. Riding on a boat past buildings, a funeral in the swamp. A building of red and dark rooms, an abandoned speakeasy with an impenetrable layout. Harpoon dancing. Lesbian lovers, hermaphrodite picasso kiss, separating into androgynous twin ladies in black. A dog's litter, noone watched, the last two were stillborn, she turns into a pale human mother with her hands over her face, an apocalyptic pose over two bloody strangled fetuses.

None of you are on my level of dark (chocolate) humour.

So much for the apple, you bit off more than you could chew. Now die on your poison. Age, disease, and violence fled Pandora's Box, and all you got in exchange was hope. So I hope you choke. Die on your poison, fool.

My carcass shell is flaky and heavy. Depression Breakfast.

You ever look at a person and wonder what the hell is going on in their head? Yeah, that's me, I don't know either.

Mall Doll vs. Thrift Whore

Sand is the glitter of the universe. Aha, now you have sand in your clothes, see what I mean? I saw this in my notebook and immediately hated myself.

Nihilism is Depression as a philosophy. "Nothing really matters..." *snaps* "Good shit, write that down."

They say great kids' media appeals to adults and kids. So who among you is reading the Cat in the Hat?

Never lose your inner child. They're a pain in the ass to find and it could be considered child neglect.

"Family-Sized" is a lie, they know damn well you're not feeding a family.

They closed the 99 cent store in my town, so I had to go to the Dollar Store. It was this whole thing, and by thing I mean penny (and a quarter).

The English invented the double decker bus so twice as many tourists could see gray ass London.

Who the hell named them Gen Alpha? We really don't need that...

Tired of being emotionally exhausted. Time to be mentally deviant.

The skeletons stay in my closet. That's where I keep the cry wine.

It's a good thing people can't take a joke anymore. "Hey man, you hear about tha--" Ah, fuck! He took my joke! Not cool, man. (read in Mitch Hedburg voice)

How did the English fit an entire breakfast in a tea packet?!?

Paid artists, like paid actors,
Strut along a stage made by broken hands.

Gir's Doom song, DOOM Eternal version.

Do you understand how destructive giant chickens would be? They'd peck you in half and consume your body, and then it'd be ground the bits with the boulders in their gizzard.

Nothing Else Matters is my disney princess song.

Welcome to the UwUnited States. :3.

Every genius needs an evil twin.

The Law of Depression and Ice Cream: No matter how big the tub is, Depression will increase to meet the supply of Ice Cream.

So are the TMNT furries?

Aperture Kitchens: Working Hard to Improve Food.

Sarcasm Indicator*: For when your tone-deaf unfunny "friends" are unable to realize it's a joke.*