I know something you don't
bout God, the son and the holy ghost
he's hiding in the late hours
in the shadow of a rain coat
Have you seen this God?
Well, he's the stray dog beneath the post
Hell's waiting for you, let it go
hope is buried with the innocent long ago
but if you insist on the fruit of reason
why not try its poisonous root?
after all, the fruit of Eden 
was why Adam had to leave the womb

there is safety in self effacement
yeah I feel brave when I'm noone
I will make you nothing
wrap you, in nothing, forever

the wisdom of your lips
and the color of your eyes
have convinced me I am mad
and convicted fantasize

"So then Academia is a joke?"
"Why does it have to be a joke? Why can't it just be? Water, food, clean air is necessary... art is a nice extra."

There's a dead body in my bathroom.
Why did I have to phrase it to understand it?

"I just wanna kill the asshole in control"
"I was sinking on the verge of drowning // in too deep with my surroundings"

... a by-product
product of the times
a product of circumstance
handing off all responsibility for my life
to a pen that points the finger at me
the handwriting's all over the walls.

ANYONE CAN HIDE INSIDE THEMSELVES AND THEIR COMFORT I CHOOSE TO BLEED IN PUBLIC LIVING MY TRUTH PROFUSELY

mercurial malleable pliable protean
grayman beige vacant vapid vanish generic beige

circumstance happens everywhere passes everywhere and it heeds noone

you do an ad hominem
I do an ad homicide
we are not the same

I adopt your terms to ridicule you and myself

(I am the straw that will break your back)
(I am the moment before you snap)
I am the darkness that you seek
that sustained no hope of yours
Your blindness and your bitterness
Your addictions and your failures
Your Pandora's Box, Your Paradise Lost
I was the devil when you were Faust
(I am the promise you failed to keep)
(I am the question with no answer.)
(Convinced of an end to infinity you throw yourself into oblivion)


Careworn

Hey Kitty
Black spot on a blanket
Wakes me up before sunlight
Purrs like a machine
Gets close but not too close
thinks thoughts she'll never tell
(I can see it in her stern face)
Hey Kitty
what do you dream?
You've lived this long enough now
what do you see?
Up close, human's ugly face
That you sleep next to
Do our dreams bleed together?
One colorful meaningless fugue
of thoughts and smells and new things
that slink back into reality
Hey Kitty,
there's nobody like you
do you know that?
You probably do.

My back is full of gaping holes
for you to put your fingers in
spell out the difference
cast away my misgivings
expose myself
for a little attention
forgive me, that's all I ask
(explain misery)
Eyes - the judgment, the verdict, the ransom and the reason
Come visit my freakshow exhibition for two
Swallowed in rich blacks and baptized in orange light
The skin says so much more, the parchment of my life


Cognizance coils around me, constricting around my pupils, creeping up my legs, circling over and over the underlined words. I don't know (what they are). I don't know (what they mean). How can an empty page threaten daylight? 
Absence concepts collapse collateral conundrums. Childhood cilia facilitate formulaic chronic confusion. Confucius contests chaos. Calypso challenges karma. There is no
The serpent knows this.

Who can sympathize with a list of symptoms?

hiatus coerce dilemma conundrum impasse tattered



emotional disarray pit-a-patter pity party plucks sad confetti out of your hair in the afterparty colonized by primary colors battling ultraviolet wars on the walls and the floors and the young folks walking talking listless like a shitty student film creative but not original funny but not true. The dance floor is embalmed with hostile odors of dangerous femininity and unaccepted gender roles to plug the humidity in your pores and the voices in your head screaming STOP when you should go and GO when you should stop yes Prom was the enemy because when apportunity arose I was still an ugly duckling and anyone was threatening to my internal status quo Bowtie Bouquet How about both How about no?
"I'd rather be at home than be put in the position where I'm wishing I could pour something"
Who needs sex when I have friends and all my friends are women because boys can't be trusted boys are the enemy boys will stuff you in a sack and laugh no i'm not a fag no i'm not I can't stand the flamboyant gays I envy them and their freedom I am not them I am me and all that entails.
(Kill the self. Kill the self. Kill the self. Kill myself? Buddha, that's a big ask.)


They're too scared to let go
I'm too scared to touch you
a shared silence is enough
a meeting of the eyes is too intimate
I won't cross the border
but I'll walk to the edge of the line
That's where you found me
at the end of your own rope
And you stared me down with both eyes
I don't know what this is
I know I don't need it
I know it will hurt.
But I want this.


constant kilter klutz calypso
misplacing adjacent associations
for mosaical purposes
shadows run long and faint
the inference was wrong
I am a non sequitur one to the next
graphophile piles of literature styles
pausing never to consider
Yea, I am a non sequitur

plebeian public republic publicity duplicity felicity

princess: *sigh
emo: What are *you* sighing for?
princess: I'm waiting for my one true love to save me
emo: that's fucking nuts
princess: like you're any better
emo: ... wait... ... damn.


sigma rizz: Shinji, Donnie Darko, Eminem


Let's have a conversation
this time with a gun
let's see where violence takes us
when we're not afraid
You say that it's an 
unsavory experiment
I disagree,
I think it's more of a sick game
The way we lie and lie and lie and lie
never telling truths
afraid to say what crossed our mind
rotten to the root

wire cuttings line the floor
broken glass, open door
fitting that it feels like home
smells like smoke
made of burlap, with button eyes
stuffing's coming out so sew it twice
falling apart, moth eaten and raw
can you, hear the train call?

What do I owe you, well wishes?
No one's special
but you are
to me

dowright turn for the definite worse
deaf and dumb and it hurts
come on, lighten up
let's see a rainbow color bruise

maybe these hollow notes echo in each other's throats
familiar footsteps we follow
siblings of a shared sorrow (symptoms)

I hate who put these words in my mouth
and so I spit them out

dry erase emotions
wipe the smirk off my face and there's nothing left
file me under forgettable